A Penny For My Thoughts

Graduation

2012-01-22T05:03:00.001-08:00

The long awaited event is finally coming!

As with all things in life, an end is the beginning of another.

And a reminder from today, different people want different things.

Heroes

2011-04-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Taken from David Gemmell "White Wolf"

Heroes and how man think they should be VS what heroes really are.

"The two greatest warriors in the world came together on a quest to save her. They risked their lives. They battled a sorceress and a villain with magic swords. The result ought to be world-changing."
"Ah, yes," she agreed. "I like those romances too. The return of a golden age, the banishment of evil, the little princess who will one day be great."
"Exactly, do any of the futures show this?"
"They show that Elanin will be happy, and will have happy children. Is that not enough?"
"I don't know," admitted Weldi.
"In a few years time Druss the legend will stand on the walls of Dros Delnoch and defy the greatest army the world has ever seen. He will do this to save the Drenai people from slaughter, and keep alive the dreams of civilization. Is this more to your liking?"
"Ah, indeed it is, priestess."
She smiled fondly at him. "And do you think Druss would find that more important than rescuing a child from a place of darkness and horror?"
"I suspose he wouldn't," "Why is that?"
"Let me ask you this," said Ustarte, "if a hero sees a child in danger of drowning, does he need to know the fate of world hangs in the balance before leaping in and trying to rescue it?"
"No," said Weldi, "But if we are playing this game, what if someone told the hero that the child was destined to be evil?"
"A good question. What then would Druss do?"
Weldi laughed suddenly. "He would leap in and save the child."
"And why?"
"Because that is what heroes do."

Birthday and friends

2011-02-12T19:17:00.000-08:00

It just feels great to celebrate your birthday with gf and friends!

10 Reasons to be happy:
1. Best shirt from gf
2. wonderful company from friends
3. First time to marina barrage
4. Best shirt from gf
5. wonderful company from friends
6. Best shirt from gf
7. wonderful company from friends
8. Best shirt from gf
9. wonderful company from friends
10.Best shirt from gf

Thanks to all who came, really really appreciate it

Greed

2010-12-22T07:14:00.000-08:00

Man has stopped progressing

We have enough food and resources for everyone

What we're trying to do is fill the void known as greed

In the end Man will realise that it's a void.

Addictions and life

2010-04-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

Why do people fear addictions? Do they really have better things to do in life? Is filling your life with other things more meaningful?

Work? Don't make me laugh.. Nobody will work if they have money.. Unless it's for passion.. How many of us work for passion? Can, will and are working for passion?

Family? No comments that should be heard.. LOL

Life? Live it to the fullest.. When you don't have access to everything? How the hell do you do that? Nobody can experience everything.. Not even the richest kid.. Because he most probably won't get the kick of growing up in crappy places, which in itself is a valuable experience..

So what do we do in modern days? We go out.. and do acceptable things.. Social outings like meals? Movies? Shopping? Com'on man.. It's just that we're so tuned into the system that if we STOP spending money and doing what the person next to you is doing, the whole thing collapses! So much for modern science.. Logic, reason and questioning? LOL, yeah right..

We have nothing to do, and we fill our lives with nothing, and since it's nothing, there's really nothing to complain about.

And I don't want life after death, not because I don't believe in it. I just don't want to see the same shitty people again.

Luck or ability?

2010-04-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

Twice, I'm suffering from people who have commitments more important than school.

And here I was thinking I'm a slacker who spends hours and hours on WoW. I see people all around me working their ass off in school and scoring 18,19,20/20 for mcqs when I score 17.

M I just incapable? Because I cannot get them to work and do the thing?

Or m I just unlucky to get these morons?

Sometimes

2010-02-21T02:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's because you don't know how to talk.

Sometimes it's because others don't know how to listen.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-02-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

Haha.. It's my birthday.. It's pretty cool..

I totally enjoyed this one.. And last year's.. It's like the best I ever had! and yet better still to come :D

I think life is so much better when you have friends and loved ones around you. They give you strength, by helping you out physically and emotionally. Even if they're not here, you know they'll be there. Hehe.. Especially you, who's here for me, and I think I'm the luckiest person on Earth!

I've been hoping around games lately.. Mainly because I can't play WoW. When I had it, I didn't play like 24/7, and level like a mad man.. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.. It has like the best game mechanics and the most balanced item system ever. It's gonna be in the hall of fame of games along with FF VII. I went bumping around for some online MMOs. And free one at that, so that I can just play for fun.. If I'm paying, WoW is the only one :P

Found this "free" game called Free realms. What surprised me, was not the fact that it looked like WoW, played like it, but it managed to bring a side of the engine that was appealing! All the combat was rather similar without the deaths, you just get knocked out.. And each of the quest involves some form of minigame. You don't really know what's gonna come out, it's not just a bunch of lame stuff stitched together, it's uniquely done :) BUT and a super big BUT. Some/most of the content needs to be unlocked by payment. UBER BIG DOWNSIDE. I mean, I will only pay to play WoW. The rest of the games out there is just.. Not worth it. Too bad.

I had Marche for my birthday.. And due to its overwhelming menu, I had only? I mean, I had 2 main dish. LOL. So.. I wanted to look for the menu, it's not online.. But I found some blog posts about Marche. You know something? Going overseas changes what you know about the world. And people, get your ass to countries that are not just cheap. Stop visiting cheap ass places. And stop whining about Singapore food being expensive. We pay $0.80 for a can of coke, $2, max. In Perth, you pay AU$3.50 for ANY soft drink. Com'on man, different country, different. I've been to My'sia too, and you know what? It's not the price that makes it worthwhile, it's the freaking top-tier service. If you want cheap, go eat oats everyday. Be a horse. Go do something stupid and eat "free" food in prison. LOL. And having said that, I think it's cheap. Com'on man, you don't even pay service charge of 10%. It's about the same price as.. Swensens. Changing Appetite. Secret Recipe. They're all good in their own way. :)

And lastly, happy birthday to me. I think my life is wonderful, maybe just need more time to enjoy it. :)

A journey

2010-01-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

I went to Perth for a week. Wow, really opened my eyes. I'm a frog in a well who ventured out a little and now back in.

I enjoyed the trip, and the details of it, well, don't let me bore you here, got pictures and stuff.

I appreciate some of the stuff at home more now, things I thought could be better, now seem reasonable. I think you can't help comparing and that's just a thing we were taught to do. It's certainly better to stay there, the lifestyle, the culture, the people.

But there's always pros and cons.

First few things I did when I came back to Singapore? Changed my door knob. That was the main reason for writing this. Not that I'm here to brag, but the wonders of what the mind can achieve.

I couldn't get the stripped screw out. Stripped screw meaning those with the + or - at the end but became a freaking O because of poor workmanship. I went youtube, bless the creator, and saw how people dealt with such situations. They used a drill and a screw extractor to cut the screw and created a new bite to remove it.

Hey man, I'm working with Ikea basic tool kit. I tried prying the screw. Doesn't work. And my mind told me, all you need is a "bite", so I took my screwdriver and hammered it into the screw. Woo. It works. Wonderful, powerful stuff we have in our head.

And all it took was an hour of manual labor and a touch of brain juice to remove your old knob and install a new one. I think we can do anything with that.

Cheers

Weed

2009-11-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

In a small section of the garden a tiny weed spoke to the blooms that grew there.
"why," he asked, "does the gardener seek to kill me? Do I not have a right to life? Are my leaves not green, as yours are? Is it too much to ask that I be allowed to grow and see the sun?" The blooms pondered on this and decided to ask the gardener to spare the weed. He did so. Day by day the weed grew, stonger and stronger, taller and taller, its leaves covering the other plants, its roots spreading. One by one the flowers died until only a rose was left. It gazed up at the enormous weed and asked: "Why do you seek to kill me? Do I not have a right to life? Are my leaves not green, as yours are? Is it too much to ask that I be allowed to grow and see the sun?"
"Yes, it is too much to ask," said the weed.

Quote from David Gemmell.

Beautiful isn't it?

Enlightenment

2009-09-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

Wow. I actually was downloading the latest dota map and I came across AI maps. I remembered that they(insane bots) leveled a lot faster and were pretty decent in ganking up so I decided to try 1 game with them.

The similarities between the AI(Normal) and human players I played with is uncanny.

They both move like idiots.

They ignore any commands given and attempt to kill 3 heroes at once (resulting in their death)

They cast all their spells on 1 target because they have no situational awareness and cause a possible victory to turn into a rout.

They go afk because they're bugged and start to walk around like morons.

THEY EVEN BUY THE SAME ITEMS. And, personally I think the real humans actually copied from the AI because they lost to them. LOL.

HOWEVER, the AI(Normal) is better than these people.

They don't leave. And neither do they bitch about others.

Their reaction time is something even I can't match -_-" they're robots. Com'on, cut me some slack. I can own 3 of them(insane) alone. Reaction time isn't EVERYTHING.

I actually saw 3 AI(Normal) own 4 Insane AI in a gank. Must be a fluke, and they were so excited they got bugged after that. Zombies. Brains. But, they can gang. that's a fact. Which sadly is lacking in some people.

The AI(Insane) actually plays and feels like some of the average players.

They feed on noobs.

They get decent items.

They suck when playing against me, although they manage to level twice as fast as me. 3 v 1, I win -_-"

Well, I think it's an overall positive experience playing with bots. (4 normal and you VS 5 insane) If you can't find anything better to do and have had too many games killing noobs and need some challenge.

Oh yeah. Which actually brings me to the point of this post.

Lots of people must have played with insane bots and lost.(not normal I hope) and decided that items is the way to go. Because frankly, I couldn't kill anything at the start. They were 4 and I was 3, and they were 8 and I was 6. Ouch. First kill only then. Yuck. They don't even let creeps hit them.

So, these peeps who played soooooooooo often with insane bots thought that they graduated from dota AI school and play with real people. And got their asses kicked because you can't beat 5 real humans just by getting items. They're bots people. Bots.

That was a long post. Hah.

Life and Death

2009-09-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

I saw so many ways that a person can be killed or how someone can die.

The question is : How do you want to live?

School Starts

2009-08-16T06:55:00.000-07:00

It's a new semester, with the same old faces. I'm happy with that

New ideas, new experience, new things to learn.

The thing that captures the attention of people most deals with life and death.

Forensic Science = Exciting. Who cares what is the permeability of the plasma membrane? LOL

History

2009-08-06T01:20:00.000-07:00

What's the point of having data for references to the past when it becomes irrelevant and useless?

It's the same last sem, it's the same now. Wth?

NEver Forget

2009-06-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

I'm who I'm today because of you.

Quote from David Gemmell

2009-05-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

"I'm a stranger. You do not need to lie to me, or pretend. Only with friends do you need masks."

"How sad, Surely it is only with friends that one can be at peace?"

"It is easier with strangers, for they touch your life but for an instant. You will not disappoint them, for you owe them nothing, neither do they expect anything. Friends you can hurt, for they expect everything."

Any doubts why I love this writer?

2 man's Pride

2009-04-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well, there was this really... interesting conversation that took place in front of me in a bus. Between, well, you can see from the title, 2 man.

For all the intention of making them as irritating as they are, let's name them A and O. A for the guy who was sitting adjacent to me. And the guy, opposite, O. For those who find the 2 terms strangely familiar, yes, it's the famous trigonometry, involving all your nasty, Sin, Cosine and Tangent. However, for this case, if they're O and A, where's hypotenuse, H? That's me I guess, and remember, O2 + A2 = H2

Anyways, let's turn on the TV. Scene 1 act 1, guy A fiddles with his watch. I mean, seriously, annoying fiddling. I can hear the flick flick sounds and the turning of the wrist. Guy O, who finally notices after a wrenching 5 minutes, pops the million dollar question.
(NOte: They're speaking in half singlish and half Chinese)

Act 1
Guy O : New watch?
Guy A : No la, old one, never change. (Tries to be humble)
Guy A : Just buy recently only lor. (Pauses)
Guy A : Seen the black one? It's nicer, all sold out though.
Guy O : Really meh? I just bought one the other day. DAmn nice. (I suspected them to be gay to buy the same design of watch buy different colour)

Current score: Guy A 0 - Guy O 1

Guy A : We drop at BeXX(some place) and walk okay?
Guy A : The bus got go to Simpang BeXX.
Guy A : You sure anot?
Guy A : Ya ya, the bus got go to BeXX Camp, I know. You got go before? (attempt to regain 1 score)
Guy A : Ya. NOt sure the bus got go anot. (avoiding time) AZ(some guy) sure scold us. Late.
( Eh.. These 2 dudes. TOTALLY don't know the area. They're just taking a bus hoping that it goes to where they want. And for those of you in doubt, the 2 places, are totally not next to each other. One is turn right at a junction, the other, turn left. LOL! and they're using a WRONG landmark to look for the place. Which, later, becomes REALLY funny.)

Guy O : What book is that? ( takes book from Guy A's hand)
Guy O : Lend ah?
Guy A : (under the bo bian act) Okay, it's a "mi ji" aka secret manual
Guy O : (Takes a look at the cover) Aiya, this kinda thing, ask ABC(dunno name) can le.
(seriously? wtf? 1 look at the cover he knows the content? WoW. Must learn from him)

Guy A : Girl AA got come anot? (the fox tail is coming out)
Guy O : No leh, I ask, she wanna stay home and play game (Geez, I wonder why?)
Guy A : She'll make things more lively. (An obvious hint)
Guy O : (Totally oblivious) No leh, so so lor. She come or don't come, same thing.
(LOL, what a moron.)

Current score: Guy A 0 - Guy O 2

Guy O is flipping through the pages, makes no mention, asks a casual question.
Guy O : Seen any movies?
Guy A : Yeah, all the recent ones, other than the Jackie Chan one. The Japanese Movie.
Guy O : Really? Which one?
Guy A : The "FujiXX", (in an attempt to save himself), I heard not nice ah.
Guy O : Really? Then how? Nice anot? (WTF!? the guy just said 3 lines ago, that's the movie he didn't watch! and this guy totally wasn't listening!)
Guy A : (Classic answer) So so lor, anyways, FAst and Furious was good. I watched with Girl XX
(Woah! Bring out the bazooka and artillery already! To assert his standing, he uses the ultimate guy weapon. A date with a pretty girl.)
Guy A : (Continues) She liked the movie man.
Guy O : Really meh? I heard she say very boring? She almost fell asleep.

Current score in case you're not counting : Guy A 0 - Guy O 3 (he avoided 2 by totally not paying attention 'aka' Act blur live longer)

Act 2
Guy A : (Goes on offensive) How's girl XY?
Guy O : Like that lor, we got go out
Guy A : Really ah? With her? (and the tone implies that she's the type to hop around guys but quite popular)
Guy O : Yeah, you know how she is la.
Guy A : Yeah, she told me you keep asking her out.
Guy O : (Realises he's in a trap) No la, we just go out lor. Never call one, just sms, msn.
Guy A : YEah, she say you keeping asking her. (gotcha!)
Guy O : (doesn't wanna deny in case Guy A talks to XY) yeah, you know la, she never call me, so I sms.

Score : Guy A 1 - Guy O 3

(and since they're on the topic of girls....)

Guy A : eh, the XT(girl) go interview for air stewardess. Never make it.
Guy 0 : really meh? She quite good looking what.
Guy A : ya lor.
Guy 0 : (starts listing the criteria to be an air stewardess) Must be tall, good face, figure...
Guy A : (cuts him off) must be the hair
Guy 0 : ya, ya, she do her hair then okay liao. (LOL! at last, some agreement.)
Guy A : you never go apply to be steward?
Guy 0 : Got height leh. 165. (LOL!! I didn't even realise he's that short! woohoo to guy A!)
Guy A : Really meh? The who also get in.
Guy 0 : Aiya.. Got quota to fill mah.. ( OMG. is he serious?)
(these 2 guys are talking about something totally outta their league man.

(Bus reaches BeXX MRT)

Guy O : YOu wanna alight? YOu sure the bus got go?
Guy A : ya ya, BEXX camp, after that, go my camp. I know one. SeYX CAmp.
Guy O : Where we drop?
Guy A : after the bus turn left ( gotta give him credit.. but...)
Guy A : We turn already anot ah? (LOL)
Guy O : We go ask the bus uncle?
Guy A : Ya, BeXX camp, i know.
(looks at each other, doesn't move)

Guy A : Sure got go one, I got take before. BeXX camp, you know right? I always pass by when going to SeYX camp
Guy A : If wrong, we walk la.
Guy O : okay... SeYX camp where?
Guy A : PaXX. (LOL!!! that's 2 hours walk ladies and gents. the landmark he has from his camp to their destination)

Current score : Me, 1 - them (morons)

And for the final and the most classic of all classics.

ACt 3
Guy O : What you do in camp?
Guy A : Technician
Guy O : everytime clean barrel, very "siong" aka tough
Guy A : "tuang" (relax) right? No outfield
Guy O : where got? Difficult lor. ( for heaven's sake. This 2 guys are talking about what they did 10 years ago)

(my stop.) THANK GOD. Alights. Those 2 morons probably still arguing about who suffered more. LOL!

Seriously, i thought something like that, would only happen in TV.

Time out

2009-04-03T07:32:00.001-07:00

Going Malaysia for the weekend.

Just nice to chill out and then prepare to work my ass off for the upcoming exams.

WOo.

Love ya!

Nature

2009-03-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how things work in nature. You see beautiful flowers bloom, and they disappear after a few days.. Without warning, without a trace, just suddenly.

Just like dota. After so many years, the game just disappeared. Is this nature at work?

Random Thoughts.

2009-03-14T03:50:00.000-07:00

It takes 1 second,

10 seconds to stereotype,

3 minutes to categorize,

and a lifetime to understand a person.

-Poh

WTf.

2009-03-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

It's strange how some things can have such long reaches.

Something totally irrelevant to me. Has been used to compare to me.

Wtf. Not an insult, but com'on, m I such a moron to totally ignore my studies?

It's hard to be mis-understood. Especially by idiots. And it's not easy when it's so hyped up and in the news.

Totally. Bullshit.

HehE

2009-02-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

I know you're reading this :P

No words can express my emotions. It's just all POSITIVE!! +++

You made my birthday a memory that I won't forget :)

Don't sleep too late! :P

Stare Blank

2009-02-10T05:12:00.000-08:00

KNowing something is wrong doesn't make it any easier to stop doing it.

We know it's bad to eat that chocolate bar, to watch that extra TV show, to curse(excessively) but we do it.

I know I NEED to study, and not studying isn't right. Well, it isn't right, it isn't wrong, and that doesn't make it any easier to start studying. What can I say?

My life can't get any better than it is now. Maybe that's the reason why I'm not moving with the world. :) Just enjoying where I'm, and maybe let the rest of the world catch up to me :P

I know, I hope, I.. manage to beat the system again :P

Morbid 100th post

2009-02-02T23:40:00.001-08:00

Wow, it's my 100th post :P

And well, sometimes, something morbid comes up, and it's just too good to not record it.

If i got into an argument with someone, and the person was telling me about how I'm wasting my time, life and not doing what's important. I would probably laugh in the person's face and tell him that there's nothing important to me, not family, not religion, not life itself. And if THAT would scare him and affect him, then it shouldn't. Because what SHOULD scare him is the fact that I would put him down just because I can. There's no logic and reason behind it. All his dreams and ambition and beliefs and achievements would all disappear. And the real sad part? That I won't give a damn, because I can't understand how he feels. Neither does anyone in the world care, because we only care about ourselves.

Maybe it's just the place I'm in that makes me so happy. Welcome to the NUS Science library :)

A New YEar!

2009-01-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Chinese NEw Year!

I've been so busy that I've haven't gotten much time to blog and mop about stuff I guess. It's a good thing! I'm out there enjoying myself, rather than coped up at home writing about stuff that doesn't really matter :P

Oh yeah, for my bros out there. Here's thanks in advance :P

Totally. Ridiculous.

2009-01-08T02:19:00.001-08:00

You noticed the new green colour sign above the MRT train seats?

The one that says "Priority Seats"

You can't imagine the effect it has on people.

The purpose? To instill some sorta.. Courtesy into people.. And it's just utterly twisted.

It's either:

1. We have given up hope that Singaporeans will ever be polite people

2. It's twisted.

I hope it's the second one.

Let's review the logic behind. You're sitting down and you see someone who NEEDS it more than you do. You stand up, you give up your seat. That's courtesy.

Now? It seems like ONLY that particular seat is RESERVED for people whom NEED it.

Why do I say that? People AVOID sitting there, so as to PREVENT THEMSELVES FROM HAVING TO GIVE IT UP. Totally twisted. To save face? To.. save energy?

It's just totally ridiculous. Or MAYBE. The previous sign didn't have any effect, to the extent that they want it this way. To make people reserve a particular seat for such people. WTF?

As if the yellow line isn't bad enough. The one you're susposed to stand behind? Yeah, don't fret it, now you know where your place is. Know your role, and shut your mouth.

Safe.

2008-12-22T17:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm safe for now. My grades I mean.

Dunno what went on, but they're what they give me. That's that.

Just wondering if I can keep it like that. Working as hard as it is, IS HARD. zzz

November

2008-11-29T01:12:00.001-08:00

Exams. Exams. Exams. Been freaking crazy the last 3 weeks.

It's over. (On Monday actually... Details, details....)

Latest news. Most probably going on a holiday with my friend and his family. WOOT!

It's so good to be able to get away. Really looking forward to it. Just 6 short weeks before going back to another 13 GOD DAMN LONG WEEKS.

Oh yeah, for those of you, since you're reading my blog. Why not ask me out!? :D Just double click on your msn, and click on my name and ask me out man. Preferably for holiday too :P

Yeah man. A month of pain and joy. November.

Use of Virtual Space

2008-11-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

I took 15 minutes to look for my 1 notebook out of a couple that I have for my checklist of items to bring overseas. Damn it.

I'll put it here and just refer to it when I need it. :P

1.Underwear
2.Shorts
3.T-shirts
4.Toiletries
-Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, slippers
5.Towel
6.Passport
7.Money
8.Jacket
9.House keys
10.ID
11.Handphone

I travel light, yes I do.

Oh yeah, I'm going away for 3 days, Monday to Wednesday.

You gotta love Adam

2008-11-01T05:40:00.001-07:00

Watch this. Knock your socks off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3Eo-jl1M_Q&NR=1

Mentos and Coke

2008-10-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

I LOVE MYTHBUSTERS.

They discovered the Science behind the Mentos and Coke reaction.

The way they did it. Real Science. Makes it so cool. We should think like that too.

A breakdown of what they did. They used Coke, and compared it with soda water. Soda water has only the minimum ingredients shared by coke. So it is used as a control. This is keeping in mind that keeping all aspects of the experiment constant while changing only variables. To isolate the ingredients that causes the effect, they added individual components of Coke but not soda water into soda water and tested the mentos effect. Which helped them get the ingredients which played a part. They also tested the ingredients of the mentos and got the ingredients that made it possible. Thereafter, they tested the physical limitations of the mentos effect by using 2 mentos but 1 with glaze and 1 without. In the end, they got what they looking for.

Quoted from Adam,

"The primary initiator of the reaction is nucleation , the candy helping bubbles to form in the soda. But it turns out that the ingredients that make up the candy matches perfectly with the ingredients that make up the soda to make up what is known as the cascade effect, whereby the soda wants to let go of all its CO2 instantaneously. That's what makes the explosion happened."

Wow. Science.

"The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks

2008-10-28T04:19:00.000-07:00

First up, thanks to Valerie who recommended me the book.

Well, the book is full of great lines which made me have trouble deciding which one I will quote. Then I realize that I shall not quote them here but commit them to memory. The whole collection of beautiful verses made the book wonderful. The main guy, Noah is actually a lover of poems, and when I put down the book, it seemed like the book was a whole poem. It's really good.

I teared towards the end of the book. It's as though something deep down told me it was ending. Seriously, it wasn't the last few pages. Because they included the epilogue of another book. But I just teared in the last few pages. The strength and power of love. It's just incredible.

It makes you believe in miracles. Makes you believe that such a love is possible. I'll wait for it. Or die without.

I'll probably re-read the book soon. When I need motivation. :)

Self thought

2008-10-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

There is no pride to be found on the battlefield that I'm on.

It's littered with dismembered bodies and delusional survivors.

Welcome to NUS.

Wolf

2008-10-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. I like the way this was said to me quite some time ago. Tweaked it a little.

Imagine a pack of wolves. They're running along the floor of the valley. There are a few wolves who run in the same direction, but along the cliffs of the rock wall on top of the rest of the pack. The massiveness and sheer sharpness of the rock wall seems impossible to ascend. Few think that there is something up there, or that there is something on the other side of the rock wall. It is extremely hot in the day on the top of the rock wall cliff, as there is little shade, and frost bites are not uncommon at night for the same reason. There is no fixed path, and more often than not, the lone wolf have to create his own path and jump across chasms of peril. One wrong step, one wrong jump, and he would perish. Sometimes, wolves who try to scale the impossible wall envy those on top, but they fail to see the comfort of the pack. The comfort of company, of being able to follow the pack, of sharing the catch of the pack, getting the occasional prime parts of the hunt. The lone wolf feeds on whatever game he can find, which is scarce and often not fulfilling. He howls alone and stares down at the pack, sometimes wishing he could join them. But never. It could be that the view up there has changed him. Maybe it's the comfort of being alone that keeps him there. But he knows that he is not meant to be in the pack. He has changed when he climbed the rock wall, and seen what others could not. He could not be like the rest again.

But I do not run alone. I run the cliff of the wall with my friends.

Thoughts

2008-10-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

I finally, clearly and concisely summarize the 2 sentences that I use to deal with people.

I don't judge a man by his mistakes. And I don't make decisions for them.

And oh, I realized why I seemed to have lost my "life" story.

You know something?

My sad past. Is PAST.

The years of suffering, has born fruit, withered and died. The cold fire of pain has been consumed by the fire of the brotherhood.

My life, and its story, is no longer about pain. It was. But so many years with my friends, whom are my family, they have put in place what cannot be erased. Years of joy and many years to come. Things we do together that mean so much more than others have done, than what I've done with my own family for so many years. These years together, although it does erase my past, it is MY LIFE.

And my life story, is a happy one.

2 vivid dreams

2008-10-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

Had the 2 most vivid dreams I can remember in a long long time.

First one was about some horror crap. Some person who dragged "me?" into a movie theater and only to find out he's some conjurer of some sort. Scary. Heartbeat increased, woke me up and I forced the dream to end.

Second one was about my dad. And it's really the contrast that makes me want to laugh and post this. He's nagging at me. ( What's new?) I got really pissed and replayed one of the many episodes of shouting matches. This time, push came to shove. And I decided to give the ultimatum to shut him up for good. No fear, no increase in heartbeat there. Perhaps if I had done it, I would only feel relief.

Most people would be more appalled by their second dream. That's the difference between you and me.

One of those times.

2008-10-13T09:09:00.001-07:00

Beneath this mask of hardened clay is a vulnerable face. The mask which has been baked hard by years of exposure to harshness of the sun, the sting of the rain and strong wind. The mask grows ever harder to cover the pain, the shame, scars and memory that the wearer tries to hide. Can't help but wonder if one day, someone will remove the mask and touch his face with tenderness.

TV

2008-10-03T21:22:00.001-07:00

Yes, I watch TV.

And it's an interesting "Everything you need to know - Tornado"

The biggest tornado was 1999 Oklahoma tornado. Of course different people have different ways of defining biggest. So, whatever.

Tornado is essentially a rotating column of air. The conditions needed are dry, cold and moist air. Creating a vortex.

It is rated on scales, much like earthquakes. F0 - F5. F = Fujita
Basically, it measures the scale of damage.

The place with the most tornado? Tornado alley in U.S.A. Apt name ^^

And the worse possible mis-believed place to hide in a tornado storm? Highway overpass. Made famous by a homemade video of survivors under a highway underpass. Truth is, the air is compressed and speed increases when funneled through that small overpass. Good Luck.

The main killing force of a tornado? The flying debris. A 2 X 4 Wood becomes a missile. Scary to see it sticking out of a stone wall. Imagine that sticking out of you. Best place to hide? Inside room and basement, away from flying debris and risk of being sucked up and thrown 100 feet.

Wow. Love TV. LOL

Survival

2008-10-02T21:01:00.001-07:00

These are the 3 rules that have kept fishes alive in their large schools for millions of years.

1. Pay attention to your neighbour only.

2. Turn in the same direction.

3. Stay close, but give room to allow turning.

Doesn't it just seem so familiar? Sounds like something that society will teach you.

And it feels like many people are just doing that. Guess that's the main reason why I don't fit in.

Attitude.

2008-10-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

There's a stark difference when you do something with the attitude just not to fail and when you do the same thing with the end in mind to achieve.

The effect is remarkable.

I'm shifting from the former to latter.

Good Day

2008-09-25T04:24:00.000-07:00

It's a good day today.

Got things done, managed to start studying on my Biochemistry module.

Good Day.

Oh yeah, to whom it may concern, nope, I didn't read. It's meant for you.

Baby Crying VS Childhood Nursery Songs

2008-09-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

Went for family dinner.

Sat in my brother's car. His kid was crying her ass off for 25 minutes non-stop.

After dinner, on the way back, had to hold the phone while Old Macdonald's, London Bridge is falling down, Mary had a little lamp. And other songs.

Can't decide which one is more hellish. LOL.

Leg gonna cramp from soccer, but I need to buck up. ZZz.

Predator and Prey

2008-09-16T06:28:00.000-07:00

I've heard this theory / story before. I feel like I'm in that situation now.

Aquarium fishes are air flown from country to country. However, due to some unknown reasons, the fishes died in a perfectly healthy, predator-free environment. Scientist did some research and tried to introduce various external factors into the environment to improve the survivability of the fishes.

Guess what?

The presence of a predator actually increased the number of fishes that survived. The possible explanation is that the fishes had to "fight" for survival and hence they did better than just nothing. Maybe we all do. When the impeding deadline is approaching, we can push our bodies to its limit, we can focus on the task at hand. When we're given the will and time to relax, we slack.

We're not so different from fishes after all.

Confidence

2008-09-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

Dead tired. Going to sleep. Been working hard.

Was taking a bus and revelation hit me.

Confidence comes from:
1. Experience
2. Preparation

I personally feel that 2. is more important. And the main reason why I'm so tired :P

You can have tons of experience, but if it's rusty, then it won't come out right. Doing the same thing over and over is like doing preparation, so it doesn't really count.

Quite irritated though. Having confidence, experience and preparation sometimes just isn't enough to take the grade. You got to play the system, but I think most importantly, having a cool head all the time. I'll be better by the end of this Semester.

Nights

Family Protocol

2008-09-06T06:24:00.000-07:00

Went to my nephew's 1 year old birthday.

My cousin (his dad) told me it was supposed to be for youngsters but somehow it got leaked out.

Youngsters = Young people. For fun, mahjong, gambling, maybe go out, watch movie. There was a hell lot of drinking and smoking from the other side of the family, really interesting.

Anyways, somehow, the older generation got informed and involved, and them being them. This statement is perhaps the whole point of me writing this, got a lot of unwanted happiness involved.

First up, the family outcast, whom wasn't invited. To the extent that her daughter felt she seriously shouldn't be invited. But the protocol of a older generation dictated that my cousin had to ask. Thank god, she knew she pissed off someone at the party other time, and this person was a mean character at home and on the street. She really impressed me when she screamed "Damien! You want me to mao you to death izzit?" Damien is her kid, probably what? 5? 6? 7 at most. LOL

Second, and all time irritant, my dad. He nagged at anything and everything, but this time he pissed me off when he refused to walk to my grandma's house to be picked up. This "senior" superior shit that protocol dictate that some youngster must pick him up when the youngster is picking up someone else also. Why is he different? That poor kid has to come pick him up at his house. Fucker.

Thirdly, my beloved grandma. Forever giving red packets. She was dizzy and we brought her up to rest at the second level. But she wanted to climb down, on the pretext that she want to walk around, while holding a damn obvious red packet in her hand. LOL. She wanted to make sure my cousin knew she gave him a red packet. Serious shit. Red packet business. Your filial piety depends on the amount. LOL.

Fourth, and last, perhaps the best. My brother. The selfish prick and scared of wife asshole, didn't want to send 3 person back in his car. Somehow, his 5 seater car can only sit 4 person. LOL. His 1 year old kid must take the front seat, and his wife must drive, while he squeezes with the other people in the backseat. :D Classic.

Can't wait to meet my friends tomorrow. I'll be spared of this madness, or maybe protocol dictates that I must... Shake everyone's hand at once, since they're all my brothers. LOL

Update Update.

2008-09-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, long time long time.

Been asked to update. Here goes the most recent thing.

I saw my friend wolfed down 3 main courses at Swensen's. Shall not mention his name but god knows how he maintains that body shape.

School's started. Sucks totally. Busy busy, even had my first CA already. Hope I did well, feel that I haven't lost my touch since I managed to "guess" the last question, which was to me relevant. Hmmmmm...

I think the following are just random unconnected things that you have to go through to understand. Not all can teach, and all who criticize others' teaching should go try it. Don't talk about what you cannot do. I can teach. I'm good. And I think it's just too bad not everyone can do it. And sometimes all the recipient of the knowledge end should do what they can to learn instead of whining. I'm refering to people in my lecture theater.

Life is good, friends are great, some hiccups, but life was never a bed of roses.

Gonna blog at least once a week. Talk about some general issues.

Nights

Untitled

2008-07-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

So many things happening in my life, and I'm so enjoying the ride.

I realized that I don't want to blog down everything, because I'm not the kind to look back, but want to create new memories.

Just wanna wish Ameer and Amir happy belated birthday, and hope they enjoyed their birthday celebrations, I certainly did :D

School's gonna start, can't wait for the new experiences.

Life's so busy that sometimes I miss the times where I can lay back and relax once in a while. I shall do that today :D

Get the table!

2008-07-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

Went Ikea on Friday. Nice place, lots of interesting stuff, and ingenious usage of space. 5 Stars to the management and heads off to the designers.

Looked at some sofas and decided that my room has not enough space for any of them. (Duh!)

Saw some tables that could fit into my room for the purpose of studying. Now I have like a L-shaped workspace. Super cool? Practical at least. Who cares. I like it.

My table measures 140 X 75, or there is 170X75, and I think either one is fine.

I just cleared enough space in my room to put the new table in. Gonna buy it on Monday. I hope.

I guess this signifies the start of my academic works, and hopefully this time I can do some research of my own. Top it off, I went to sign the letter of agreement today. That's it. Everything is more or less settled. Hope I don't become more of a hermit than I already am. LOL. Do I even qualify to be a hermit in the first place? :P

Note to self : Should I buy something so I can pin notes and important dates on the wall? Thinking point.

My Best Friend's Girl by Dorothy Koomson

2008-07-01T20:00:00.001-07:00

This is a VERY good book.

What do I mean by good? It makes you smile, makes you cry, makes you think, it reaches into parts of you that you never thought existed and makes you FEEL.

The story is about 2 best friends Kamryn(Ryn) and Adele, and what else could come in between 2 girls? A man. Not just any man, it was Ryn's fiance, Nate, who slept with Adele and the whole marriage was called off. The 3 of them cut all contacts with each other and the story begins when Ryn receives a birthday card from Adele to inform her that she's dying. The story unfolds and you get to understand each character, their background, their behavior, in such details that amazes me. The main part of the story is after Adele went to Heaven, leaving Ryn with Tegan.(Adele's daughter) Ryn had never planned to have kids, and she suddenly has the responsibility to bring Tegan up. And to make things worse, her boss is leaving, and a new, obnoxious boss is taking over. But with a turn of events, it becomes a romance and the story is very touching. It ends properly, and the clarity of how she describes the characters makes me wonder if I'll ever know myself as well as she knows her characters. :P

The book is totally well balanced, it makes you want to keep reading, it's never boring you with unnecessary details, it is real. The problems, the behavior, but never too pessimistic. The ending was rather a shock? But it couldn't have been better.

If I have to rate this book? 5 / 5. Good stuff.

1 Month

2008-06-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

Time flies. Actually, it's just relative?

When time has passed, and people look back, it's just seems fast. And I'm happy that it's fast to look back, or we'll spend half of our time looking in our past and missing the present and screwing your own future.

Time to go back to books, studying, reading, learning and frankly, I'm so looking forward to it. Enough of NS crap, and miserable pay. Just a few K is better than the peanuts now. Seriously.

Started some seriousness things for myself, and I hope to carry them through my life. 21 is a age that makes you do stuff like that. Plan too much, and make you afraid to die. Cause you'll lose everything once you die.

Heavy stuff.

Till next time, which can be a long time, and I think, I'll post about what I learn.

Warning : Not meant for stupid people and the waned-hearted. :)

A short post for everything.

2008-06-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

Somehow, there's a lot of things to say, but too little time. Just joking, I'm lazy.

First up, Ameer's birthday! Happy Birthday man, was a fun day and a great BBQ.

Bought a new phone, loving it, configuring it, learning how to use it.

Third, camp. Interesting, in fact, I want to study this thing that they taught. So... Time to get down to work work work.

Note to self : Never wait till you're 50 to enjoy life. Enjoy it. Everyday.

PUNK TIME

2008-06-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

You'll never know what hit you :P

The Beginning

2008-06-12T16:02:00.000-07:00

Just ran a 3D2N camp for Ngee Ann Poly. It was different from running camps for little kids all the time. How different? It seems that being older makes us more hesitant, more withdrawn, more afraid of things that as a kid, we didn't think about; image, what others thought. Maybe more than everything else, we're afraid of making mistakes in front of others.

The campers were fun loving and I enjoyed helping them accomplish their activities each day :) I wish all of them a great life ahead and hope they all achieve their goals. In fact, they showed me that they love to have fun and they were serious in their studies. They made me want to be the same as them.

Therefore, I've decided to be the serious guy I've been trying to avoid so far. I want to work hard again, I've mellowed enough. It's the price I'm willingly to pay. Time to start all the planning and executing all of them, be brave, and go forth to make mistakes :)

A Good Week

2008-06-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

I just had a good week, or so I think when I look back.

Went out with all the important people in my life. My friends, saw my family.

Keeping in touch, and being human. That's what life is about. And throughly enjoying time with my friends. Haven't had such a good laugh in a while :)

Kung Fu Panda kick ass. Worth watching once. :)

Memories

2008-06-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

Why do I blog? Why do I write what I've done? To boast? No.

Memories are stored in our brains and they need triggers to be brought forward. And words seems to be a good trigger for me.

I just completed a back to back camp, Metta School, then Rosyth School.

The campfire for Rosyth School was more fun than the one for Metta School. The activities we did in the campfire is worth remembering and doing the next camp.

Starting - Campfire burning song, Go west. Lighting of the campfire, long chiam pass for GOH. Peace like a river with actions. Family sing songs. Flee fly. There was a stream. Geko the frog. Limbo rock! I never knew the lyrics, now I do. Auld Layne Sade. Still got a few tricks :P

The Hookie Pookie, Father Arabhim, some nice songs. Stand by me, wonderful tonight, Que Sera Sera, and many more. Campfires = fun.

Metta School

2008-06-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Did a 3D2N camp with metta school.

The kids were very interesting and very fun to be with.

This, despite the fact that they were kids with special needs. Their innocence and obedience and all is just so alluring.

I prefer helping them and taking care of them over normal kids -_-"

And guess what, tomorrow's campers come from a GP (Gifted Programme) school. I have a hunch they're more difficult to handle compared to these "abnormal" kids. Let's see who's more abnormal.

Lastly, a great congrats to Metta school for completing the camp and all the activities. I have to say I'm really proud of all of them who went to Gunung Aurung and completed the trek. May all of them do well in life. They deserve nothing less.

Note to self : This has been a great exposure, and I really enjoyed myself.

Mawai

2008-05-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Going to Mawai from tomorrow till Sunday.

Pray that I be not forced to do something stupid when I come back.

Myself

2008-05-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

Some Notes To Self:
I just realized.
Maybe it's not that I have a fantastic memory.
Maybe I just have too little things in my life, hence I remember everything.

And oh yeah, maybe the reason people don't understand me is because I can't find the right words to describe what I want to say. But, I think, what I understand, was learnt through experience, hence no words can describe them accurately. Who cares.

Greenridge Secondary

2008-05-22T16:15:00.001-07:00

Ran a 3D2N camp at KOREF for Greenridge Secondary. The participants were secondary one students, classes 1E1, 1E2, 1E3, 1E4, 1A1 and 1A3. It was a pleasant and memorable trip for me, and I hope that the campers felt the same.

Day 1:

We set off from the school in the morning to Gunung Lambak, where the campers will climb the hill. I had the pleasure of sitting in 1A3 and 1A1's buses. During the journey, The campers were rowdy, high spirited and excited about the camp. They didn't sleep like most campers did, but sang songs throughout the 2.5 hours. Upon arrival, they ate their lunch and prepared to ascend the hill. The campers climbed to the submit of the hill and back in around 3.5 hours. I only went to the mid point as I had to follow the first class back to the campsite to prepare tent issue and arrangement.
After the instructors gave a demonstration on how to pitch the tents, the campers were arranged into designated spots to pitch their tents. I must say that I was rather proud of them as most of them were capable enough to pitch the tents properly without much help. After they were done, they had their first meal at KOREF and went for their night walk. After that, they were given time for a much well deserved showering up and resting.

Day 2:

Woke up early, and heard that 1/2 of the campers woke up at around 5+am. Quite surprised that they weren't tired out from the activities the day before. The benefits of youth :P I went to walk the water obstacles course to check that they were repaired and ready to be used by the students. The V rope obstacle was infested with ants and I was bitten quite a few times by them while crossing. I cleared the ropes of the ants as much as I can and decided it was safe enough for use. Spent the whole morning and afternoon introducing, guiding and teaching the kids how to cross the obstacle course safely, properly and have as much fun as possible. The most enjoyed obstacle was undoubtedly the swing, where surprisingly, 100% of the girls who attempted the obstacle course managed to swing successfully from 1 side to the other. To spice up the activity, I assigned a route for the campers to run and took their best timings. This allowed the campers to improve their confidence and showed them that from a slow start, they could build enough confidence to run / fast walk across the many obstacles. Also, they could challenge themselves and take pride in being fast amongst their school mates. The fastest guy and girl was from 1E1, where they cross the challenge course in 56 seconds and 1 minute 30 seconds respectively.

Just before and after dinner, they prepared for camp fire. The spirit of the campers were high and most of them were really enjoying themselves. Initially, the weather looked like it wouldn't hold out for the campfire to be held outdoors but we decided to give it a shot anyways. We had some difficulty getting the fire started but it was all smooth going after that. Some of the class performances were quite good and I really hope they take this experience with them.

Day 3:

The campers packed up their tents and went for activities. Took the last 2 classes for the water obstacle course, and in fact, it was the last class, 1E1 that was the fastest. But I wanted to contribute a complete section to the water obstacles. The campers had their reflections and debrief with their school teachers and presented some of their thoughts. The school teacher asked the instructors to say a few words to the campers which he will video tape and was gonna show it to the school. It was a rather scary thought but we all said something. Everyone was eager to go, instructors included :P We packed up and set off for Singapore. We reached the school at around 1830 and were glad to be able to go home to our beds and computers. The most interesting thing to do on top of the list of things when they reach home was said by a camper that she wanted to "kiss her toilet floor as it was so clean". For the instructors, we had dinner with Boss and finally made our way back home.

Note to self : It was a tiring but really enjoyable experience. To be able to see all the students and talk to them, guide them and also hop on so many of the buses and interact with them was a real joy. The instructors were all nice, fun and out going people. It was a real good trip and I'm already so looking forward to the next trip :)

Camping Camping

2008-05-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Going to Koref from 20/05/08 to 22/05/08.

I love this job.

Pulau Tioman

2008-05-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

Just had the best 4D3N in my life at Tioman Island.

It's an island in My'sia, and I was there with Amir, Ameer and S&Y.

We stayed at Sun Beach Resort, located at Genting Village.

Day 1:
We met up in a cab ride to go to golden mile complex at 0530. All of us were excited about the trip. We could not suppress a fear that we would not get there in time though, and it showed mainly on Sai's face :P But we managed to get on the right bus and reach the Mersing jetty and hopped onto a ferry to go to Tioman. The journey there seemed to take forever. But the first sight of Tioman was of its twin peaks. Saw the silhouette from a long distance. My first thought of the island was "wow, it looks like a monster." The shape of the island looked like some giant creature and it is 1 of the 3 legends of how the island came to be. We got briefed by the person in charge on the island, got our keys and showed to our rooms. It was a simple room, beds enough for 4 for the 3 person room and a king bed for the twin room. It wasn't luxurious, just simple and sufficient. We explored a bit, had lunch at a cafe and decided to take a walk to the Paya beach next to us. The walk turned out to be quite a exciting trek. Saw some sights and climbed up and down feeling like a survivor :P It was tiring and we all decided we won't trek back. That lead to us taking a speed boat ride back to Genting beach, and all of us getting hooked on speed boat rides :P We bought our snorkeling gear at Paya Beach, yellow goggles and breathing tubes. :) At night, we went to explore our own village, bought some snacks for the night and all.

Day 2:
Island trip day. We shared a boat with around another 25 people. We first went to some island to snorkel, which had some nice corals, and I cut my hand against one of them. The fishes were small but beautiful. Took some time to get used to the snorkeling gear and all :) Drank some sea water but all in all, it was good. Had lunch at a beautiful beach with white sand. Had a close encounter with a Komodo Dragon. Went very near it before I saw it. Scared me quite badly, but nonetheless was an experience :P Went to Tekek Village, which was supposedly the "town" of tioman, but it was under construction. Went to check out the trekking path to Juara, the only village on the other side of the island. Last stop was at marine park, where there were really big fishes for us to see. Quite scary. The waters were choppy and not very suitable for snorkeling. 3/4 of the people gave up after a while. Enjoyed the boat ride from place to place. Feeling the wind in your hair, the sun, just relaxing, taking in the view of the sea, island and feeling so small when staring at the horizon. Truth be told, I can't really swim, so I've always been afraid of the sea. But after doing some boat hopping, walking around on it and all, I feel quite confident and found it more fun than fear on boats now. Dinner was good, then we managed to get a place where we could rent a speed boat from 0900 to 1500 for day 3, where we would go village hopping and to a water fall. Really enjoying the nights too, just playing cards, talking, sitting out at the porch in the hammock and all. Talking to people who mattered to me, and things that touched our hearts.

Day 3:
Speed boat ride = trilling, exciting and wet. Love it.
Went to a waterfall at the South West part of the island. Climbed up the path to the waterfall. It didn't look like much, but being in the water and under the fall changes your perception. Such power, and it looked so unconquerable. We spent a good hour trying to climb to the top but it was rather inaccessible. Ended up taking tons of pictures :P We then climbed down to the a area, where we could jump off from the rocks into water that was rather deep. All of us dived in :) Thanks to Amir who lent me a strong arm, I didn't drown :P I knew I could trust my life with my friends. Then we went village hopping, didn't have much to see, only Japamala was so impressive with its glass jetty and all. 1500 RM per person per night. WOW. Looked the part though. Went back to Paya to have lunch, was nice, then went back to Genting. Took pictures with the 2 boatman :) Nice people. Spent 2 hours sun tanning, then another hour plus shopping, I bought 2 shirts and some wood craft. Just love those. And some other souvenirs. Then we had BBQ dinner. Was awesome. Squid, chicken wing, hotdog, fish, all done well :) Played some cards then went to the bar to get some more food. Crappy rubber steak though. Took me long enough to eat it. LOL. Slept w/o blanket thanks to Amir :P Just needed enough of it to cover my puny feet but he wrapped it like a cocoon around himself :P

Day 4:
Woke up early, all packed the night before. Just bathe, and ready to go. Took some pictures, and headed to the jetty to wait for ferry. The trip back seemed a lot faster than it took. No anticipation. Didn't really want to go, but we know, we will be going for other trips :) All of us had great memories, had great fun. Reached Singapore, had Macdonald's for lunch/dinner. Reached home, unpacked, washed all the dirty laundry and slept. Now is 11.45 PM, I woke up at 10 PM thanks my auntie who called and asked me some stupid questions. Took me quite a while to type all these out. Things that will trigger my memories of the place, of the fun I had, of the people that were with me.

Note to self : The trip was one that I will never forget. This will be the first of many trips to come, and I really enjoyed myself.

Tioman Ahoy

2008-05-08T02:51:00.000-07:00

I'm headed to Tioman tomorrow.

Can't wait. New place, new experiences.

Graduation

2008-05-06T04:30:00.000-07:00

I officially declare myself to be graduated from "Poh's Swimming Course for Dummies".

LOL

It's rather hard to believe what I can do now. The confidence I have, and the fact that I can swim.

On 20/04/08, I decided that I will learn how to swim so as not be a burden during my tioman trip. I seriously doubt it will help a lot, and I most certainly will be wearing life jacket when going out to sea, but you know what? I hate to be helpless. In fact, I sometimes get scared when I see a large body of water.

Anyways, my first day of swimming was trying to float properly, and doing a few strokes. Pathetic, but that was all I could do without goggles.

Day 2, went to buy goggles, and did breadths of the pool. Still can't really breathe, move and stay near the surface properly. I'm worried, because I don't want to just swim, I want to stay in water for a long period of time.

End of week 1, sometimes, I can do a length w/o stopping, sometimes cannot. The kicking and strokes come naturally, it's the breathing.

Then somewhere along mid week 1, I decided that coming up for breath after every stroke is just plain annoying and tiring. I decided to go 2 strokes and 1 breath. Started out struggling for breath, but I still think that's the least taxing method.

Last lesson today. 06/05/08. I can do either 1 stroke or 2 strokes and breathe. That depends on whether I need air. I'm always near the top of the surface if I want to. And the only time I will falter is when I smile / grin stupidly at my own achievements. LOL. Breathing = OKay. Strokes = Okay. Floating = Okay. Stamina, not so bad, just that my arms tire out cause I depend a lot on them.

I think swimming is fun, and I will continue to swim after my trip :)

Black Lagoon

2008-04-30T07:57:00.000-07:00

Lots of things going through my mind.

I think I found an anime that I can agree with very well.

The name is "Black Lagoon".

This phrase is one of the happier phrase in the anime. Very nice.

People are like dice, we throw ourselves in the direction of our own choosing.
People are free because of that.
Everyone's circumstances are different.
But no matter how small the choice, at the very least you can throw yourself.
It's not chance or fate, it's the choice you make.

Tons of things running through my mind. I wish they get tired soon, so I can pick them up and use them instead of chasing them around in my head.

Looking forward to all the trips that are coming up.

Interesting

2008-04-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

Before I forget,

Something I discussed with my friend.

Education foundation is more important than education in later part of the child's life.

Or as Amir puts it, the education system is upside down.

Very interesting notion and idea. Will go research more on it :) Worthy of a thesis.

And this afternoon.

Damn pissed at my dad.

Can't do shit, talk a lot. Ask for help, then want to comment on how I do things.

_|_ man. Don't get annoyed at me because I can do what I say.

Just because your mind cannot comprehend mine, it doesn't mean it cannot be done.

Tea

2008-04-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

Tea, a simple drink.

The bitter aftertaste is what makes it so.. attractive to me.

Keeps things real, that life is not all sweetness.

Love my new keyboard.

Thanks Bros.

Monday

2008-04-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

It's a Monday.

A day where you feel the blues.

A day where a new week begins.

A day after the day where I should have started planning for the week :P

Too bad.

Quite a handful this week, let's get them onto paper.

1. Scholarship Package - To be replied by 11/04/08.
-Current score, Scholarship Package - 7, M@NiFesT - 1.
Tons of things to be done. Need to work out the details and get the photocopies asap.

2. Maths lesson planning for Relief Teaching - RT from 14/04/08 to 25/04/08.
-Currently, need to do the Maths exercises to ensure my familiarity with the subject.
Out of 5 topics, covered 1/2 -__-"

3.Life Skills.
-Currently reading a book, but I think it's best to put it on hold.

4.Guitar
-NO time is just an excuse :P
Just need to find some time to practice.

5.PATAPON
-Must find time to do it. Been really busy. Sorry J. But it's ranked 5 for a reason :P

6.Money
-Need to bank in a cheque. Been dragging it for quite a while.

7.Leisure Reading
-Tons of books waiting~

8.Research
-I always do this.

9.Watching anime
-Strangely, this always comes before the other 8. LOL

10.Music music music
-Passive, forever on going. :) Send me great music people.

11.Teaching Dota
-Well, I guess owning noobs who uses MH against someone who doesn't use it and still own them like crazy is necessary for a healthy growing boy like me.

Of course, the list does not include activities for my 6 friends. Because they're more important than any of these things. Anytime, let's go bros.

I wonder why I'm never bored -_-" I don't even have enough time :P

Damn, but I hate long posts :S

Family

2008-04-05T05:27:00.001-07:00

My aunt came to visit.

And I think I saw my mum in her.

And it's lovable. I miss my mum suddenly. Haven't felt that for as long I lived, but I think having her around was.. different.

Maybe I've been blinded by anger and hatred for too long.

Went to visit grandma with her.

She looked so frail. 100 years old. I love her, and want to protect her.

Been quite a while since I've been at my grandma's.

Food was simple, same stuffy place, but you know what? I smile there 10 times easier than being at home. I miss the place, the homely feeling and my auntie mommy. The one who brought me up, not the one who came over. Great woman. No malice, love her sons, love her family, love her life. Loves me.

Was a great trip. Wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

Time To Come Clean

2008-04-03T04:31:00.001-07:00

Okay, for those who noticed.

This is the answer.

But first, I'm sorry for being an ass.

For not being who I'm, unable to put in 100% in things I do. I'm sure all of you felt it.

I had some issues on my own.

She is still affecting me. Big time.

But you know what? I'm blessed. To have people who are here for me.

Thanks.

Time for me to pursue my.. plans.

Those who know me, know I've got many things that I want to do. It's time for them.

That means, I'll be out with my brothers, doing my own stuff; reading, learning, earning money, making up more plans.

I was like a drowning man grabbing at straws, when I had so many boats to cling to.

I doubt she will ever read this, but I want her to know, I don't hate her. I never did, and never will. She made me treasure what I have, strived for more, but it seems all I gave her was pain. She has a near-perfect life, she knows how to live, has values which are good, was vocal(loud, actually), but she has the brains and looks to pull them off. If our paths ever cross again, let it be that, it is the same person, or better.

Need Or Greed?

2008-03-31T00:59:00.000-07:00

Where I'm,
Where I'm going,
Where I've been,
What I've done,

Have made me,

Who I'm.

This applies to everyone.

But,

I know,

Most people can't do what I've done, gone through what I did, have the future I've crafted for myself.

So why am I so unhappy?

My life is great, I can't ever say I'm bored, because I know there's 1001 things that I can do if I want to.

I enjoy everything I do, the fun things, the duty, the studying, the work, walking, time with my friends. Damn, but I enjoy every breath i take, every moment of my life. I love life and revel in its beauty.

But,

There's just this emptiness that cannot be filled.

A void too deep, too confusing even for me.

Am I greedy? My needs are all fulfilled, so are my wants. I should be a happy man.

Or is there a need, I'm missing? Something that I don't know about.

Need or Greed?

Operation Pink Thunder

2008-03-29T09:17:00.001-07:00

So dead tired.

Let Guns N Roses fill me with energy.

Made some notes and ready to go.

We met at Tampines at 1030 hours, and we headed to Azad's house to prepare for the surprise party. Bought evaporated milk for his bundung ice-pop. (Pink)

First thing we did when we reached his house was test the compatibility of the laptop and digital camera. Changed all his 40 metal hangers to pink hangers.

Then we confirmed the details of the video for the powerpoint presentation. We decided to pretend to break into his house. We had 3 people on the lookout, and calling in 2 backup on bike. Then the 2 person leapt over the wall into his house, and opened the gate. We then crawled from the gate to the main door, and thereafter I tried to pick the lock but failed. Then we sighed in despair and decided to just knock on the door. Guess who opened the door!? His mum :P
Did 7 tries. Certainly cleaned the floor with our crawling :P

There was no time to rest though. We had to go straight into preparing his room.

First was the bedsheets. We changed it to a rosy red sheets, complete with comforter and quilt cover. Placed a red heart cushion and pink care bear.

I changed his green army conscort which he used to hang paper clips and notes into a blink blink purple string. :)

The rest went about to decorate his bench press with pink feathers and pink towel.

Set up a hanging cupboard, and put pink crocs on the lowest compartment for him. :P

Set up a pink stool for him to reach the highest compartment, and a red door mat.

Tied pink ribbons on his fan, air-con and every handle there was.

After all this was done, we looked at the stickers. That's when we went CRAZY.

We covered every metal, plastic surface with star stickers. His keyboard, montior, mouse, computer table edge, legs, sides, printer, beach press, weights, all the cupboards, bed frame, air-con, fan, power plug, anywhere we could find. Trust me, it was hell of a lot of stickers.

Then one of us had a really great idea. We got post its. Color? What kinda question is that? By then you should know it's pink.

We practically pasted post its on everything we changed, bought and on his cupboard. Written on the post its were "Happy 21 B'Day" and on the wardrobe were messages like "Sai was here", "Amir was here", "Poh was here", "We love you" and other cool messages. Looked real beautiful. And we used the post its to do a tiny book of 21 things Azad always wanted to do but never got to :P

So he came home, was sang birthday song by us, and had to open a huge ball of presents to see a note "Go to your room".

We had people in the room to take pictures and videos of his reaction. The look on his face was worth every bit of hard work :P

As Visa puts it,
"Bedsheets : $39"
"Stickers : $1.90"
"The Look on Azad's face when he entered his room : Priceless"

He had to change into a purple sleeveless shirt, with bear pictures and text "what are friends for?" Very apt eh? :P Oh yeah, almost forgot the pink scrunchy and pink hair band that he had to wear. He had to hug the care bear and take pictures with it :P

Then he went through the 20 tasks we set him to do. (number 1 was going to his room), while hugging the care bear :)

Was really fun, and the people were fun to be with.

We took pictures with him, and had the guests signed on a paper that we sprayed black, with a gold marker. The paper was framed up and looked real good. Gold against black, royal and just beautiful.

We also did a blow up of our group photo and hung it on his wall. Fantastic.

He took pictures with everyone at the party, and finally... We pulled a stunt on him. We called his phone to make him take it out of his pocket, grabbed his phone and dumped the entire icebox with ice and water on him. Revenge is sweet.

Then we basically chilled out, just chatted, listened to music and enjoyed each other's company.

Best night, second only, of course to my own BBQ :P

Operation Pink Thunder

2008-03-28T18:50:00.001-07:00

Operation "Pink Thunder" begins at 1030 hours.

Damn, but to keep this information inside me for 1 week is killing me.

Damn glad today is here. :)

Will update the progress and details tonight if I have the energy.

Missing Something

2008-03-24T03:25:00.001-07:00

I admit the camp has taken quite a bit out of me. I've been sleeping quite a bit. But it feels like there's something missing.

I got the scholarship. I've received the confirmation e-mail. In fact, I got it before my camp, but I just didn't check my e-mail.

My life is all set for the next 7 years. All i have to do is walk through it. And now that the destination is set, the journey is the one that matters. It's up to me to make it a memorable one.

Feeling just so weird. I applied for it, but never really thought I would get it. In fact, I've always made plans but it's seldom this big and to walk through this seems daunting.

I've always seen myself as an adult. I hated my childhood. But now that it's here, and the fact is that it is going to be a lot better than what most people will go through, it's just weird. I'm so used to being compromised. So used to being second, that being able to really control my life scares me. Why? Cause despite the pain and suffering. This is what made me who I'm. This is what Chin Poh is about. This is the life of Chin Poh. This made me, Chin Poh.

But, am I such a weak man?

I hope not. To allow circumstances to rule me. To allow external factors to make me sway. I need to find inner strength. Remember my values, my principals and my beliefs. I must hold true to them. I must not wavier, must not walk a path that I will regret.

Words cannot do Justice

2008-03-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

The past 3 days were great. More than perfect. Is that even possible? Yes.

Spent the last 3 days at Mawai Eco Camp.

Day 1:

Departure from school to Mawai. Upon arrival, I was like "Wow". Super nice place. All wooden, and wild looking. Set up bed, went for swampforest walk. Was impressed with the animal traps. Looked real cool and can made my imagination run wild. The walk was fun, really informative. Learnt names of a few edible plants and fruits. Should have worn combat boots though :P only had 1 pair of shoes, couldn't afford to lose it in the mud, had to get it out on a couple of occassions. Annoying. Fell and made like 15 punctures and a couple of splinters in my arms/hands. Annoying. But, was damn fun. At night, we had firefly cruising. Beautiful ride out on the river, trying to catch glimpses of fireflies and stars. Serene.

Note to Self : Food was great, people was fun to be with. Great day.

Day 2:

Woke up, prepared to go climb Anu Gunung. Was told the climb up would be like climbing stairs. Reached the submit in 40 minutes? Was uneventful except seeing some plants with edible berries. Had lunch at submit, and went to a secret place along the trail down. Best view. Wow. Was along a cliff. Breath taking. I said "the best painter cannot paint the scene." I was wrong. The person could. But it would not be able to protray the majesty of the view, the actual feeling you get when you sit on the cliff of rocks and look out. If there was a view to behold before you die. That would be it. BUT, it made me realise there's loads of other mountains to be climbed and plenty more views to be enjoyed. Climb down was exciting, rather challenging and fun. The best part was the beach. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. The absence of people, beautiful rock formations, sand, wide open spaces, river. Just too good to be true. Even the rain cannot dampen the beauty of the place. Went back to campsite feeling surreal. Had campfire, which was not so exciting cause the kids weren't into it. But heard KP sing "Anak". Fanastic. Sang songs, enjoyed the company of nice people.

Note to self : Travel more, see more, learn more, experience more. And, damn, the food was too good.

Day 3:

Did water obstacle course. Kids were excited and hyped up. Was fun, tried some of them myself. Most memorable perhas was seeing the kids work together to get up to the V-Beam. Even got them to raise their hands to take a picture. Wasn't sad when I was leaving the place. Told myself I would come back again. I would be looking forward to that day. :)

Note to self : The trip was more than perfect. Couldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in this world but there. Will always remember this trip as one of the happy days. A journey of self discovery, camaraderie, learning, and beautiful memories.

See you again Mawai.

Away

2008-03-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going away to My'sia for 3 days 2 nights camp, from 21/03/08 to 23/03/08.

Happy holidays to all, and happy Easter to those who celebrate it.

Hopefully I come back a better man :D

Talking is believing.

2008-03-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

Had to mentally prepare myself for the interview this afternoon. So I did it the only way I knew how to. Talk to myself. Repeat, make me believe my words. Rephrase, rethink, step into the world of "whatever is important at the moment" and walk in the world.

Pretty impressed with my results I must say.. Did what I intended to.

Like Amir would say, play your hand, roll the dice and watch what happens. :P

And, the irony of it all, I bought a book on speaking after that. Should have bought it before :P

And it seems my technique was pretty correct, must be because I took the technique from the same guy.. But different book. Great ideas. Dale Carnegie. Great man.

I'm really looking forward to speaking to crowds and people. I have the confidence, but I want to know how to drive a message across. :)

Oh yeah, public speaking was ranked above death in the poll for fears. People rather die than speak in public. So, if you wish to conquer death, address the public :P

Friends, logic, and everything nice.

2008-03-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

First up. Thanks to my friends. You guys know who you are.

You all told me 1 thing, at different times, but essentially same thing.

And I think there's wisdom in those words.

Sorry, but I'm a fool. I may not heed the advice.

Only you guys can appreciate what I did. How major it was, and how much it really meant.

Chin Poh will always be Chin Poh, let's just keep it that way :P

If only logic ruled the world, the world would be filled with bee hives.

That was my satire. Because insects are definitely and infinitely more efficent than humans.

We are blessed, or cursed, whichever way you look at it, with emotions.

It makes life worth living, but pain beyond measure. It ruins potential for further advancement, impends growth. But face it. We need it. It's a double edged sword.

Human needs only food, air and water to survive. But our soul, needs more than that. We need flavour, spices, fun, religion to keep us alive.

Talking is easy, doing is tough, making a decision and sticking with it is almost like walking in a desert with no water. The oasis is always ahead, but you never know if you will reach it.

Note to self : Greed is no good. But wanting things is only human, and we should strive for what we want. But, we must always keep in mind and see if it's what we want.

Quote from Amir : It's always good to build castles in the air, all you have to do after that is build the foundations for it.

What I want people to know : Just because you can't see wind, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because you haven't met friends that I did, doesn't mean they don't exist. We're not unbreakable, but we fight together to make it that way. Nothing's forever, but 10 years with these guys and my life is be worth living 10 times over.

Away, and back again

2008-03-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

The purpose of my trip to Malaysia : Away from it all.

Had been haunted by family and personal thoughts.

Realisation number 1. Speaking to people, helps. Or not.

Why? They affect you. They tell you what they think is good. Older people tend to have more experiences. They share their experiences and we, the younger ones, gain from it. You tend to sway from your original intentions, think of the easy way out. (If you were planning on attempting something diffcult or big)

But, I always keep in mind that this is my life. What I went through, who I'm, what I've done and my choices. They have made me, or everyone unique in their own ways. We are all unique.

When someone seems too good to be true, they usually are. Usually.

What makes me think that I'm different? Because I choose to be.

This trip was for me to take time off, to get away from these thoughts that smothered me worse than the pack of flies in Malaysia.

It was a good trip, with friends. And met interesting people. Sorry I didn't try to get into anyone's good books, it was a trip for myself.

Realisation number 2. Times are different.

Kids these days. I don't understand them.

Realisation number 3. Tuas and woodlands checkpoint are interesting places but I was lucky.

I made a mistake of telling the bus driver to use the woodlands checkpoint when the rest of the 9 buses were using the tuas link. LOL. Thanks to the arrangement which was 1 bus from My'sia to Singapore, I didn't make any big irreversible fault.

There's someone up there looking out for me. But, HE only helped me because I helped myself.

Thanks.

Note to self : It's good to be back in Singapore. Back to the warm showers, pillows and memories that I will treasure.

Camping

2008-03-04T07:58:00.001-08:00

Eat your hearts out.

Going to My'sia to run camps :P

Be away from 05/03/08 to 08/03/08.

Anything, leave me a message.

And for those who know my house number. Don't call.

My family doesn't know, and they don't need to. Thanks.

Get This.

2008-03-04T07:51:00.004-08:00

Annoying.
Brother asked me to make myself available today for family gathering.
I lost count on the number of times they nagged at me for missing out on family outings. Said I didn't care, don't give a shit about the family.
Now?
I've been going, can't remember the last one I missed. What do I get for the effort? Them asking me if I'm going. Apparently they don't want me there.
Get this. Don't give birth if you don't want kids. Kill your brothers if you don't like them. Save me the trouble and the pain. :)
*Home, full of... anger.
Only good thing that came out of it?
Pumpkin ginko nut yam paste. It's a killer.
Think it's the.. 100th time at least that they asked me which university I'm going and the course I'm taking.
Note to everyone : If you cannot remember, or can't be bothered to, don't ask. It annoys the person. Tells the person you don't care, and you got nothing to say to the person. In that case, just shut up. Most probably the person doesn't need you to say anything. It's a social thing. Be a vase. :)

The Body and Mind

2008-03-04T07:51:00.003-08:00

Just came home from a hospital visit.
2 things that struck me.
1.) The Body
2.) The Mind
1.) My uncle was admitted to the hospital due to a bad fall. He had cuts and bruises all over his body. They looked pretty bad to me. But it seemed like, he didn't even notice them. I spoke to the nurse, they're just asking him to stay for rehab and monitoring of BP cause he's an ex stroke patient.
Know something?
He's a heavy smoker. But he's not suffering any withdrawal sympthoms. On top of that, he still wants to walk around. He seems strong enough to beat me in a fight in his condition. Old timers are tough.
2.) When I was helping him clean up after eating, and while watching him eat, I realised that I had a lot more feeling for him than my dad. I saw similarities between my uncle and me. I tried to imagine my dad lying down in the bed. All that came to my mind was, "He can go fuck off and die."
Hmmmmm...
But that's real strange.
Cause in terms of caring for me, logically I can tell that my dad did more than my uncle. He did care for me when I had my fracture and subsequent injuries. But, if he's the one lying down, all I know is that I'll be looking at "my dad". The asshole whom I swore never to be when I grew up.
The fact that I can type this out means.. Okay, I've given it some thought. And maybe when he does land in the hospital.. I will visit him, and take care of him. But it kinda annoys me that I'm blinded. Sorta.
I think I'm surrounding myself with nice music to block out all the shit that I may otherwise hear.
Guns N Roses FTW.

An interesting Question

2008-03-04T07:51:00.001-08:00

I got this from "Rule Of Four", a international best seller.
A well is 10 feet deep, and a frog is at the bottom of the well.
The frog can climb 3 feet up in the daytime, but slides 2 feet down when it is sleeping.
How long will it take the frog to get out of the well?
There was no correct answer in the book, just suggestions.
1. Never. The frog will give up after 2 days. It is a frog, has to eat and all, not concerned about climbing out of the well.
2. Any answer. Some will assume this question is testing creativity, just something fanciful will suffice.
3. Maths. This may be the most common route poeple will tackle this question. However, let's take it step by step.
The frog travels up 3 feet, but slides 2 feet. Hence:
Distance travelled by Frog = 3 - 2
= 1 feet.
Distance to be travelled = 10 feet.
Hence, Time taken for Frog to travel out of well = 10/1 + 1
= 11 Days.
Mathematically, WRONG.
Why?
Distance travelled in a day by Frog = 1 feet.
However, on start the 8th day, Frog has travelled 7 feet up.
Since he travels up 3 feet in daytime, and slides down only when he sleeps, he will hop happily out of the well on the 8th day.
Interesting isn't it? :)

Teaching

2008-03-04T07:50:00.004-08:00

I was told an inspiring story by a very wise person recently:
The star fish story:
A boy and his grandpa was at the beach. The boy picked up starfishes and threw them into the sea.
Grandpa : Why are you doing that?
Boy : I want to save the starfishes.
Grandpa : But there is so many of them, you won't make any difference.
The boy picked one up and threw it into the sea.
Boy: This one will.
Big or small, we make differences in people's life.
That's what I hope to achieve when I become a teacher. To make a difference.
I'm inspiried by all the teachers who taught me. They all made a difference in me. Be it the good or lousy teachers. This may sound strange, but lousy teachers made me treasure the good ones, and respect them, plus I know what to not to do in the future.
For me, I strongly believe everyone has enough intelligence to make it through the education system. Studying is not about liking books. It's about caring for yourself, and giving more options to yourself. Since you're gonna spend the years in school, why not have fun and do well in studies? It can be done. It's just the environment that prevents them from seeing that it can be done. They're wearing coloured glasses. I want to let them see the new things, open new paths for them.
Thanks to Michelle, for telling me the story.

Chew On THis

2008-03-04T07:50:00.003-08:00

Overdue thoughts.
Sometimes in despair I curse the almighty, "Why?" I would shout.
"Why? Did you give me all that I have?"
Intelligence. This family. Choices. Joy and pain.
More than once, I've wished that I'm a simpleton. Then I wouldn't bear this burden. That I would be blind, to the things I'm missing out / missed out in my life; my father's intentions; the choices I can make and the things I can do. Or more importantly, to the pain I've gone through.
If I was dumb, born disabled, maybe I would give in to the shit I've gone through. Tell myself, there's nothing to fight for. There's no future, there's nothing waiting for me. Live a life like everyone. Play the blame game. Be an asshole without knowing it. Laugh at people whom you don't understand. Make no effort to care about the falling kid.
You have cursed me with intelligence and this experience. You have made me caring, wanting to change this world but left me powerless to do so. Maybe you gave me power, but you know what? I'm not gonna do it. I quit. Yeah.
It's time to care about myself and want someone who will care for me.

First Step

2008-03-04T07:50:00.001-08:00

I guess this is the kinda rare day in your life that you get enough energy or inspiration to write 2 blog entries.
I'm stepping out. Or rather, I did.
Thank you Nadiah, for all the things you did for me and all the support you gave me.
Thanks Iris, for letting me see things that I was blind to.
I'm going to apply for the teaching award by MOE, aka I'm gonna be a teacher.
I know that's like the last thing many people in this world will link me to, but, hey, you'll be surprised.
Thanks to the few teachers that made me the person I'm today, I see the lack of inspiring teachers that can really change one's life.
I like to look back in my old days (if I live that long) and tell myself that I made a positive impact in people's life. God knows how much I needed a good teacher and how they can really be someone's inspiration.
Most of us will never be great man, but we can do small things in a great way. And that's who I want to be.

Me

2008-03-04T07:48:00.005-08:00

You watch movies, television programmes, read books and you see jerks all over the place. You feel like punching them, spitting on them, laying the smack down on them.
What if you're one of them?
Maybe these guys didn't know what they were doing is wrong. Or what they were never taught what was right.
I know I'm not prefect. I never said I was. But I never knew I was so messed up. I never guessed all the things I did was wrong. I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know.
One day happy, one day sad.
Never ending cycle.

Thanks For Coming

2008-03-04T07:48:00.001-08:00

A big thanks to all who came to the BBQ last night.
It was great, and only happened because you guys make it great :)
Thanks to JJ for the ice box, zad for the ride to pick up the food, Boss for the radio(think I forgot to mention this last night, sorry), Sai, Amir, Ameer for helping to bring the stuff from my place, everyone for taking the time off to come despite busy schedules and commitments.
Thanks to Qi Qi, who called to wish me fun, Nadiah, who was worried but knew I was in good hands.
Life is short, that's why we must make it beautiful while it lasts.
Haven't had so much fun, laughter and joy in a long while.
Thanks for the great time.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

2008-03-04T07:47:00.003-08:00

Presentation is the key to success.
Look at SMU, a business orientated University.
They're protrayed as hip and happening, capable of producing successful young people. This is done through their brillant marketing, as expected of a business U.
Chinese New Year. The day of the red packets.
Presentation, too, is the key to everything.
I recieved 13 red packets this year, 7 long, 6 short.
Somehow I link the long ones to success. Success being more money :P
Of these, I received 4 red packets with $4 inside. This may seem little, but take into consideration that 5 are the big ones. 3 from my brothers, 1 from dad and 1 from grandma. So it's effectively 8 packets from relatives, 4 >$10, 4 = $4. 1/2 of it then.
So, out of the 4, 3 of them are long red packets.
But somehow opening them and seeing the 2 purple $2 didn't make me feel so bad than seeing the stubby ones and finding $4 inside.
Looks can be deceiving and presentation is the key to success. :)

Food For BBQ

2008-03-04T07:47:00.001-08:00

BBQ Place : Pasir Ris Park BBQ Pit 45
List of food for 10/02/08 BBQ :
Name: Qty:
Otah 30
Chicken Satay 50
Mutton Satay 50
Joint Wing (BBQ) 20
Joint Wing (Red Hot) 20
Chicken Chop (Smoked BBQ) 10
Chicken (Black Pepper) 10
Sting Ray 10
Sambal Sotong 10
Hot Dog 20
Marshmellow 1pkt
Want more tell me :D
Drinks = COKE

Home Cooked Food

2008-03-04T07:46:00.001-08:00

I never thought it was possible to miss something that you didn't have.
Or maybe the memory is so faint that I can't remember if it was real or a figment of my imagination.
For years, 7, I think, I've not enjoyed home cooked food.
What is home cooked food?
It's food that is cooked at home. With a catch. It involves eating it with people who cares about you. People whom you sit down with at the dinner table and talk about things which are important. Things which may mean nothing to a stranger sitting at the same table but everything to you.
I've been eating out everyday for as long as I can remember, with my fork and spoon as my constant dinner companions.
I guess it's only human to want something once in a while.

Me

2008-03-04T07:45:00.002-08:00

What have I, but a name?
Who am I, but a name?
Will I be, but a name?
A name, now, which can be discarded, forgotten or ignored.

1001 Things

2008-03-04T07:45:00.001-08:00

Busy week.
Needed to catch up on Zzzzs.
Work was okay.
Had 1000 things on my mind. Until the 1 important thing came up, now it's 1001.
Had issues that I saw WAS important and wanted to blog it.
WAS. Not is. No longer concerned.
The human mind is interesting. So is human behavior.
But knowing that you cannot change it doesn't change anything.
Study it, understand it, use it.
Change is the only constant.
Desire is the only driving force.
Pain is the only thing that tells you you're alive.
Anger is just a fuel.
Thinking is necessary.
Monopoly is the only way to guarantee success.

If You Could See Me Now

2008-03-04T07:44:00.003-08:00

The book "If You Could See Me Now" is written by Cecelia Ahern. It's one of the best books I've read. It's up there along with George Orwell's "1984", David Eddings' "The Redemption of Althalus" and all of David Gemmell's books.
Let's look at the two main characters. Elizabeth Egan is a woman who is in control of her life. She acts like any adult would, keeping to themselves, strict to kids, drinks tons of coffee and taking responsibilities for her family and herself. She puts on a false front because of her childhood and vow never to allow her emotions to get better of her.
Ivan elbisivni, first appears as Luke's imaginary friend. He comes from Ekam Eveileb, which in case you think I have a serious case of mis-spelling (which is true), the wierd words are spelt backwards. Ivan is a happy, fun loving guy. He loves to have fun like a kid but is incredibly smart at the same time.
You can guess what happens. Elizabeth couldn't see Ivan initially but eventually she did. First time was when she needed him. And that sparked off a beautiful relationship between the two of them. Ivan taught Elizabeth how to have fun and they fell in love. However, this love, like love sometimes, cannot be fulfilled because of reasons that we cannot comprehend.
Also, because of Ivan, Elizabeth could face her childhood and finally reunites with her father. A gap so wide that the longest bridge in this world cannot even hope to bridge. She also started expanding her social life and accepting people into her heart.
I cried while reading the book. No shame. It's so touching. First when Opal's lover died, and his last moment was to reach out to wipe her tears away. Second when I found out about her mother's real behavior and many times after that. And it brings tears to my eyes when I think about the book.
Thanks to Iris for lending me this book.

Size Matters

2008-03-04T07:44:00.001-08:00

I was reading a book and due to undisclosed reasons I did research on Singapore. I downloaded Google Earth.
For all those who have no idea what Google Earth is, I strongly recommend http://earth.google.com/. Go read it up and download the programme.
I was of course, interested in looking for whatever I was looking for and then I played around with the programme. I looked for my house and several other people's and future possible places I want to visit.
When I zoomed in to look at other parts of Singapore, my thought was.. Oh, that's cool, I don't have to travel 1 hour to look at this building. Wow, just a few seconds. And after a few minutes of doing that.
It hit me.
It takes no more than a few seconds to scroll from one end of Singapore to another. When i zoomed OUT. I was like. OMG. THE WORLD IS HUGE.
And I've lived at this.. Small little dot of the world for 20 years. How long will it take me to travel around it? 1000 years? More importantly, how much more am I gonna see if I go out of this little dot? The world is so much more!! And I've lived in this little shell my whole life.
Note to self : Travel. The world is so BIG. There's definitely a place where I belong. :)

Pendragon : The Merchant Of Death

2008-03-04T07:43:00.004-08:00

Okay. Big question. How do you pronounce "Pendragon"?
The book is a fantasy book, written by D.J Machale, a guy. (I know this only after reading the author's paragraph for giving thanks which so far every author has written one and he mentions "wife". Hope he's not a les.)
So the book is about Bobby and his adventures to a world called Denduron, yet another word I have no clue how to pronounce. Bobby discovers he's a traveller, nope, not the thirsty traveller, but one who can travel through portals across space and time (every kid's dream.. or not.)
So this book is realistic. Yeah, we dream of being a hero who saves the world. But we would do in the comfort of our room, in front of our computer or TV and a glass of ice cold coke to quench our thirst. If any of us were thrown into having to wear some of the wierd looking clothes and use axes/arrows to shoot someone, we probably have "Game Over" printed across our forehead.
So Bobby decides that kicking butts and leading a revolution is not thing he is good at. In fact, he messes up almost on every occassion. Even when peeping on a girl bathing. How loser can you get? :P
But like all heroes and stories, he pulls through, and somehow saves the terrority from ultimate chaos. Wow, surprised.
2 things that annoy me in this book.
One, the story is told in journals written by Bobby. Which to me is highly unrealistic. The way he wrote it so clearly made it feel like your there. And a journal that has so much detail would require you the same amount of time to write it as you actually spent time doing it. So he does through an incredible ordeal in 2 days.. But he can write everything in 1 hour? Nah. Bullshit. ALSO, it's like, wow, he wrote a journal. Look, so it means.. He's alive. No matter what danger he was in, he managed to survive. No cold sweat from me.
Another thing is the concept of balance. I thought about it before. But after the "Matrix", it's like every book, movie, theme, whatever is all based on balance. Like, wtf? It's a good concept and all, but right now it's like everyone is balantly bringing out this concept. Good and evil must have balance.. Blah blah. Can't they put it in a more subtle manner? :S
Currently reading "If you could see me now" by Cecelia Ahern.
Thanks to Iris for her great recommendations. :D

Death Note

2008-03-04T07:43:00.003-08:00

I know this manga/comic "Death Note" is rather old.. And the reason I'm writing about it is because I was re-reading some of my comics and I saw a trailer for a sequel for Death Note the movie.. So perhaps the idea and all is worth a mention.
In case you have no clue, "Death Note" is based on a note book, which bestows its user the power to kill others by writing their name on the book.
The book, was dropped by a death god in his boredom and picked up by a kid who was bored. And this turned into an epic battle between 2 person of great intellect.
My point is, when a human is given the power (to kill) or absolute power over others, or the ability to instill fear into them, they change. They believe they are different. Better than others maybe. And in David Gemmell's books, it's the same.
Power Corrupts.

Walking

2008-03-04T07:43:00.001-08:00

Walking.
You've been doing it since you were a child.
You do it everyday.
Unconsciously, most probably.
It's like having 5 fingers, 2 hands and all your normal body parts. You don't treasure them. They're there.
I do. At least now I treasure walking.
After 2 weeks of being out of action, not being able to walk, it feels really good to walk again. No more crutches, no more hopping.
It's similar to how we don't treasure things till we lose it..
Our family, our relationships. We don't treasure our loved ones as much as we should.
Until we lose them. Reminds me of my brothers towards my mum.
It's too late. At least, to me.
The destination is no doubt important. The concepts/ideas no doubt crucial. But the journey, WILL matter the most in the end.
I challenge all of you.
To go out, and give what your loved ones deserve. It's not easy. But you won't regret doing it.
Thanks Iris.

Fallen Queen

2008-03-04T07:42:00.003-08:00

Today is the celebration of my grandma's birthday.
Erm, we actually don't know her real birthday. But we celebrate it at the last Sunday before schools reopens.
Like every year since I have memories, we (the big gang of people) gathered together at my grandma's place to have lunch, spend time together and go and have dinner.
The feeling is like.. different.
Why?
Maybe I've grown older.
Not true.
It's like.. Everyone is so busy and caught one with their own things. When we were kids we just enjoyed being together. It's like now, my brothers and everyone has their own family (Which keeps them off my back, a good thing) but everyone really seems too caught up in their world to care about others.
My grandma is much older than I last remember her to be. Her eye bags under her eyes make her look so sad. And she no longer has the physical power to do a lot of stuff without help.
And perhaps the saddest thing is, people don't care. It used to be, grandma says, you do. Now it's like, grandma says, you agree, but do otherwise behind her back. There's so much disagreement and unhappiness.
I used to look at grandma like she's unbeatable. She's the queen of the house, and the person who owns everything and everyone. She used to be. She didn't change. They did. It's so sad to me. It's like I'm the only one who cares about her.
Happy Birthday Grandma. You'll always be the Queen In My Heart.

Losing

2008-03-04T07:42:00.001-08:00

It sucks to lose.
There's no doubt about that.
The bitter feeling, the anger, the desire to take revenge just makes you feel so negative.
But is it bad?
I've been playing dota for close to 3 years now.
I'm a Pro.
No doubt.
How did I get so good? By winning?
No.
By losing.
No kidding.
When did I improve the most in my game?
When I was losing badly.
Getting my ass kicked, getting laughed at, being called a noob.
I was losing like nobody's business.
But I was with my friends and we wanted to win.
If we had lost heart and were afraid of losing, we would have never gotten as good as we are.
We analysed why we lost, what we could have done better for hours, day in day out. An onlooker friend told us that if he didn't play the game, he would have thought us generals commanding a battlefield.
Losing fueled our desire to become better.
If we won, we actually became complacent.
At one point we thought we were damn good. Then we lost terribly to another team. And that made us realise that we weren't good enough.
And we learnt from our mistakes. And from there we became truly strong.
We've met countless people who thought they're damn good.
And when they lose they give 1001 reasons as to why they lose.
They never thought of 1001 ways to become strong. Which we did.
When we were on a winning streak, I think close to maybe 100 games, the joy of winning wore off.
We realised that the most fun part of playing is growing. Becoming better, playing with people who were better.
Pushing ourselves to our limit. And really loving the game for its design. The limitless possibilty. Won't go further into the why DOTA is so attractive.
It's a test of skill, wit and teamwork. Trust in friends too.
So is losing bad?
Not if you take it as a positive thing. That you have much to learn, that's why you lose.
And which also means you must win when you can. So to make the person competing against you realise that the person has much to learn.
So go out there and win. And hold your head high when you lose. Learn. And become better :D

Stick Figures

2008-03-04T07:41:00.005-08:00

Have you ever wondered about stick figures?
In Singapore MRTs, there's 2 yellow signs.
One which shows a stick figure giving up his seat to another bent stick figure leaning on a cane.
Some people will say, "A guy giving up his seat to an old man."
The human brain is great isn't it? We can draw such conclusions immediately. We may not even consider them stick figures, but people we see on the train.
The other sign is a stick figure giving up his seat to another with big belly in a skirt, and holding onto a small stick figure.
Again, "There's a guy giving up his seat to a pregnant lady with a child.
Why? Cause the stick figure has no hair, and we associate woman with long hair. Plus, the stick figure giving up the seat is actually taller than the other 2. The size of the small one tells us it's a kid. And the big belly together with holding the small figure tells us it's a pregnant lady, not just a fat one. Maybe the skirt looks like a maternity dress. But we draw the right conclusions and idea anway.
Okay, so this is just in Singapore. Right?
Have you watched stick figure animations on the web? Some or most are not created by Singaporeans. But does it matter?
NO.
There's something common amongst all human society that enable us to understand and feel for something(stick figures) that even a little boy can draw.
Yes, the mind is wonderful.
But isn't the people who understands our mind and uses them to convey messages even more so?
So issit scary?
It's just like an axe. It's a tool.
It's not evil. Until someone uses it to kill/hurt someone else.
Power of mass media.
I'm a victim.
Are you?