Missing Something

I admit the camp has taken quite a bit out of me. I've been sleeping quite a bit. But it feels like there's something missing.

I got the scholarship. I've received the confirmation e-mail. In fact, I got it before my camp, but I just didn't check my e-mail.

My life is all set for the next 7 years. All i have to do is walk through it. And now that the destination is set, the journey is the one that matters. It's up to me to make it a memorable one.

Feeling just so weird. I applied for it, but never really thought I would get it. In fact, I've always made plans but it's seldom this big and to walk through this seems daunting.

I've always seen myself as an adult. I hated my childhood. But now that it's here, and the fact is that it is going to be a lot better than what most people will go through, it's just weird. I'm so used to being compromised. So used to being second, that being able to really control my life scares me. Why? Cause despite the pain and suffering. This is what made me who I'm. This is what Chin Poh is about. This is the life of Chin Poh. This made me, Chin Poh.

But, am I such a weak man?

I hope not. To allow circumstances to rule me. To allow external factors to make me sway. I need to find inner strength. Remember my values, my principals and my beliefs. I must hold true to them. I must not wavier, must not walk a path that I will regret.